What Are You Waiting For Elect Me President

by Patrick Heltz

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lyrics

I’m an outsider I have no experience to speak
But that makes me perfect; I’m the candidate you seek
Don’t worry now I’ll learn everything on the job
I ran a big business so I can lead this lynch mob

You need a fresh new face that’s been around for ages
An average Joe with eight figure wages
I’ve heard your call and all your outrages
I’ve taken my que from Mein Kampf’s pages

So what are you waiting for elect me president
What are you waiting for elect me president

Climate change was made up by the Chinese
And all of your jobs will be sent over seas
What we need now is a full Muslim ban and
The Geneva Convention doesn’t fit in with my plans

You need someone here to tell it to you straight
To win by yelling loudest at the debate
To throw out our laws and start a clean slate
You don’t understand policy, what about hate?

So what are you waiting for elect me president
What are you waiting for elect me president

You wouldn’t want a surgeon who spent his days operating
Or an astronaut at NASA who’s spent his time calculating

You wouldn’t send a fireman who’s ever held a hose
Or photograph a model who’s ever held a pose

Why get a lawyer who’s read the law
Or a carpenter who’s ever picked up a saw

Why have someone who knows what to do
Instead vote for me, I haven’t a clue

So what are you waiting for elect me president
What are you waiting for elect me president

I say what I think if it’s what I think you want to hear:
Lies through my teeth or factless smear
The cameras are rolling each time that I talk
Ana as far as you know I opposed the war in Iraq

You need someone here to build you a wall
Make it sixty, no, eighty, no, ninety feet tall
Make American great, decline and fall
so Mexicans won’t want to come here at all

So what are you waiting for elect me president
What are we waiting for elect me president
That’s what you’re voting for, elect me president

credits

released April 23, 2016
Patrick Heltz: Vocals, guitar, kazoo
Words and music by Patrick Heltz

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Patrick Heltz Williston, Vermont

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